moosiclovers

America, “The Ugly” has surfaced and it sure is ugly.

In case you were wondering where “The Ugly” came from in America, no it wasn’t the depths of hell, but years and years of isolated unchanged culture, which never successfully integrated with America’s overall rapidly diversifying culture.

I had some ugly experiences growing up, being a female minority, with first generation parents from a unfavorable religious background, in a predominantly conservative white town.

During my childhood years…I remember wanting to blend in so badly…I wanted to be just like everyone else in my class, but I wasn’t…

Friend, “How did it feel when you immigrated here?”

Me, “I didn’t, I was born here.”

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Classmate, “Does your mom where a turban (cackle, cackle)?”

Me, “No….”

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Friend, “You look like Jasmine, we are going to call you Jasmine from now on.”

Me, “Okay, sure….”

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Friend, “Wow, you look like Pocahontas!  Hey Pocahontas!!”

Me, “……….”

_____

Right you get the idea. The worst part of it was, while in my teens, I thought I was butt ugly. In my school, the girls, that the boys normally drooled over, were blonde haired, blue-eyed cheerleaders. Not only was that true in my school, but also the media geared towards American teens, was not much different in their portrayal of “beautiful” American girls.

So, I tried to compensate for my ugliness by attempting to dress as they did, highlighting my hair with caramel, blonde streaks, and wearing light colored concealer to try to lighten up the darker areas of my skin. Yea….I was basically trying to be a white person. And it didn’t stop at looks, during the later part of high school, I might as well have renounced my Indian heritage. I didn’t want anything to do with it because being Indian wasn’t cool (in my ridiculous delusional teenage years, that is basically what I was thinking.)

I don’t blame myself, because looking back, I realized that I just wanted to fit in and I did not yet appreciate the fact that I was fortunate enough to be raised with two very different cultures, helping me to expand my world view. No, at that time, if a white family would have offered to adopt me, I probably would not have thought twice. Sad I know.

This is the UGLY folks, it is the ugly that we all try to ignore, but some people like me, cannot because it has already left deep marks on our psyches. It is real, it is alive, and it always has been. These days people are just more vocal about it. Maybe it is a good thing. Maybe dusting this stuff under the rug, to accumulate into a giant dust-made mountain, is what got us into trouble in the first place.

Maybe instead of this idea that we should be a culture that is “colorblind” and pretend not to see any differences in one another is bullshit. Maybe it is time we start to acknowledge that we are different and be curious and open to those differences, and celebrate them. I know that it would have helped me immensely as a child, because no matter how hard I tried, I was still a minority, and if there was more openness and effort to celebrate that fact, maybe I would have come to a higher level of understanding sooner.

So on to the music…

What else would go with these ugly times, other than the world’s ugliest music. This music, is completely pattern free, it is not random, but it does lack structure. It was written and could only be written by a mathematician. So without further ado, I share with you, “The World’s Ugliest Music”…..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uTVcTWmLPU8

If you would like to learn more on “The Perfect Ping”, here is a link to the full TED talk.

My face after the 2016 election….in utter despair….with no sleep….was quite ugly as well.

Peace and love forever and ever. -A